I had the opportunity to visit the local Fry's Elecronics store in Anaheim today, and man that was an experience. Never before in my life had I seen so many people from so many different walks of life. Being somewhat of a scientist, I decided that this opportunity was given to me for one reason: to document the different species of shoppers that visit large electronic device emporiums.

Vertasin pista
Common Small Headed Elephant
These huge creatures are often found in front of the most popular complex gadget at the store. At the time of this writing, this location was around the CR-RW and Video Cards. This animal loves to trumpet on and on about something that is entirely irrelevant, and hems and haws over software package they have no idea about. Very stubborn, it is best to just act as if they are not there, as trying to help them often leads to angry jabbering, and even violence.

Shrillus nastius
Loudmouthed Chickadee
These small birds are usually found in the tow of the Latensa Mothana, but sometimes they are found underfoot and behind large, expensive display cases. These little blighters move with blinding speed, and they seem to bounce between shiny objects in the isles. Sometimes, they will find something that they really like, and let out their distinctive wail ("I waaaaaaaaaaannt THAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"). If accompanied by the Latensa mothana, they will direct their chatter towards this, but otherwise, they will attempt to pick up the object (no matter how impossible) and bring it to the nearest Latensa mothana.

Latensa mothana
The Sleepy Bear
These large, usually harmless, animals amble about, sometimes with Shrillus nastius in tow, looking almost listlessly at their surroundings. Some mothanas have learned to use tools, and they are found leaning upon large metal cages on wheels.

Dorkus mamorkus
Tile Lizard
These sneaky reptiles seem to congregate around the motherboards. Totally oblivious to their complete lack of tact, they often attempt to explain to people how a certain piece of equipment works. the mamorkus usually gets in trouble when he comes into contact with the pista. Young mamorkuses can be found with a Latensa mothana, and older ones are sometimes found with a Dullesta furenda in tow.

Dullesta furenda
Arm Sloth
These odd creatures are almost always asleep on their feet. Sometimes found on the arm of a Dorkus mamorkus, but more often found with the Shalobbus terrificus, these bearlike creatures seem to be totally dependant on their host creature to drag them around. when the furenda is without an accompanying host (and seems much more alert), you are probably in some sort of clothing store, and need my "Animals of the Department Store" guide.

Shalobbus terrificus
Wild Linoleum Boar
These huge creatures often are found in the big screen tv section, watching the football game on 30 televisions at once. They are supremely interested in how many games they can take in per day. Many sneak glances at the DVD players, but most are interested only in 60 inch screens. (Rumors report a large group of Shalobbus terrificus in the southeastern United States, where they are often confused with the common Redneck)